Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She announced her abortion via fbk
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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