I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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