I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
