margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I cut my penus on the lid.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I queefed so loud it echoed.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize