This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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