READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
