My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
