I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
