I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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