I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
