Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
