..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
