I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
