The maid of honor just puked.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
