it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
