Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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