That's intense
I want to make a zoo with you.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
