That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Randomize
