Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
