Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
