he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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