Just fell off a train. Bad.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
