I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
