Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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