I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
