If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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