Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i now understand why vodka
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
