God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
