I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize