He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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