We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
