whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
