i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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