I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
