he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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