I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
