Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
