party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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