he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
