You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
