But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
