I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
