): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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