In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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