Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
