If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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