How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
