sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
