accomplished twins. life is a go
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
