She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
