told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
