How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize