There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
