drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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