She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm like, not good at living.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
