I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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