no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
