I love black thongs
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
