I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
