foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
All the doctor said was why
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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