While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
