3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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