if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
