No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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