I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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