Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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